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I’ve Got Cats Living Under My House…It’s WAR!


Have you ever seen what a cat looks like when sprayed with oleoresin capsicum?  I think I’m going to find out.  See, I have a bunch of cats living under my house.  It really sucks.  When we had the new air conditioning unit put in, the HVAC guys didn’t close up the crawl space under the house properly and a tribe of feral cats has moved in.  Not good.

Now, let it be known that I am a “pet person”.  We’ve got three dogs living in our house and in the past we’ve had 3 bearded dragon lizards, an iguana, a boa constrictor, mice and rats all living in the house at the same time.  We’ve paired down the pets since the kids have come along but we’ve still got 3 dogs living here.  I’m alergic to cats or I’d probably have one of those as well since my daughter loves them like a crazy.  But no cats here.

So it’s really annoying when just about every day I wake up to the smell of cat piss. It’s really annoying.  Also, every night at about 11:30 some of them get in a fight.  Sounds really scary.  They also like to hop up on the duct work that is under the house and that makes a bunch of bendy-clangy sounds.

I bought an air horn and tried to scare them out with that…but no such luck.  I really wish I had a crossbow.  Then I’d take them out one-by-one as I see them prowling around the field next to me.  That might get me divorced though.  The wifey is a big pet person.  She doesn’t like cats but she wouldn’t take kindly to having them killed.

My new idea is to get a new can of pepper spray and slide open the kitchen window.  I can see the opening to the crawl space from there.  Maybe I can wait for them to show up and then spray the little buggers in the face!  I bet that would solve the problem.  I’d love to see these stupid cats running around with oleoresin capsicum in their eyes smashing into trees and stuff.  I know, it make me sound sadistic, but if you had to live in a cat pee house you’d feel the same way.

We’re going to try one other thing first.  I’m going to get some moth balls and put them under the house.  Someone told me that they hate that stuff.  Maybe I can get them out of there with that.  If not, they can get read to feel the burn!

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